Lake + Manning: Something in the Way, 4 by Jessica Hawkins

Author:Jessica Hawkins
Language: eng
Format: epub

Bear and Birdy

Spring 2010

13

One spring evening, something in the air changed. Without actual evidence, I knew we were in labor. I should’ve had some idea how long it’d been happening, but I’d been conveniently pretending the pregnancy didn’t even exist.

Standing at the kitchen sink, I inhaled back a film of tears. I saw Manning before he saw me. He stood at the mouth of the stable, dusk settling around him while he raised his cell as if checking for reception. I could still turn out the kitchen lights and pretend I hadn’t come home. That I’d stayed late for an emergency operation, or had stopped by a friend’s, or been held up by car trouble. Not that Manning would fall for any of that. Lying to him was nearly impossible, not to mention I owned a perfectly functioning car thanks to his frequent tune-ups.

Manning fisted his hair, then turned to look through the window. Through me. I’d hesitated too long over whether to stay, but Manning didn’t waste a second. He started toward the house.

I flipped off the faucet. I hadn’t remembered washing my hands, but of course I’d known, somewhere inside, that I wouldn’t leave Blue to do this on her own. I didn’t want to, not really.

I dried my hands on a dishtowel as Manning came through the screen door. “I’ve been calling you,” he said.

“I turned off my phone this afternoon.”

“I hate when you do that.”

“I had a lot of work to catch up on,” I said. “The faster I get it done, the faster I can come home. Interruptions slow me down.”

He crossed his arms. “Some interruptions are worth it.”

He wasn’t happy with me, and I didn’t blame him. These past couple months, though, knowing I was in the wrong hadn’t motivated me to change my attitude. Life continued to test us. After some bad news from my doctor, I couldn’t muster any excitement about someone else’s pregnancy—not even my dog’s.

“I know you’re still angry at me,” Manning continued, “but she’s in labor. She needs you.”

My throat thickened the way it had moments ago when I’d come into an empty house and felt the shift. I’d been expecting it anyway, considering Blue had lost her appetite days ago.

She needs you.

Blue had needed me for a while, and I’d failed her during her entire pregnancy. I had a choice—go outside and face the truth, or turn and walk away. The latter was much easier, but it was what I’d been doing the past few weeks, and my mood hadn’t improved.

“I’ll get my things,” I said.

“I tried to get her to come in the guest bathroom. I set up a box with clean towels and shredded cardboard like you told me, but I couldn’t get her to move.”

“She’s never spent any time in there. That’s not where she’s comfortable.”

“You might’ve mentioned that weeks ago when you saw me getting it ready.” He stuck his cell in his back pocket. “Is she okay out in the stable?”

“She’s an animal, Manning.

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